But, he doesn't want to confuse me and lead me on that we can get back together again.
Typical WAS talk. Like the DB 180 tip says, don't believe anything they say and only half of what they do.
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I chimed in "and we have a strong sexual connection"
Do not say things like that, that's pursuit. The WAS doesn't want the LBS to pursue them. The stronger the LBS pursues, the faster the WAS runs in the opposite direction.
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I said in a laughing voice "if you'll let me i will"
That sounds really clingy and desperate. Don't go there, you want to project PMA, you want to be a person with strong self-esteem that is fine with or without her H.
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This is where I feel i screwed up. I said "if you say you still love me, and i love you why can't we give this another shot? Isn't love the basis for everything? I see now where we went wrong and I know your scared but I know I can give you what you need to make us happy".
You're right, it was a screwup. It's pursuit and it's pressure. It's a reminder to him that the two of you do not want the same thing, that you're not on the same page. You need to detach! Pull back. Give him time and space. QUIT pursuing!!
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Lastly he said, "we are going to be like that couple in that movie 'its complicated' where the old divorced couple of 15-20 years hook up again and fall in love". I laughed and said "I truly hope it doesn't take that long".
Geesh. He needs to think he can lose you. Right now you're basically telling him you'll wait forever for him. You're setting yourself up to be plan B. You don't want to be the second choice, you want to be the first choice. Ask yourself what he found attractive in you to begin with. Was it clingy, needy, desperate behavior? I doubt it, I imagine you were strong and independent and he had to WORK to gain your attention. THAT is the person you need to be again. Quit pandering to him, find yourself! Become the strong, independent, attractive, elusive person you once were. THEN he may get interested again.
