You did the right thing by booking the counselor appointment to plan the separation. Like a broken record your wife is stuck and the only way beyond that is to give her the space she wants. Check out the book Controlled Separation before your next appointment, it will give you some ideas for how to handle it.

You have to completely let her go for a while and continue focusing on you. That's the shortest path to reconciliation ironically.

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015