Today, I told my H about the work situation that I'm in. he was concerned and briefly angry at the harasser, but the cooled off and started making light of the situation (making jokes, saying that the problem is that im too pretty).
Well, he said that he still cared for me and wanted a strong friendship with me, because he likes me as well as cares for me. But, he doesn't want to confuse me and lead me on that we can get back together again. He says he likes talking to me (says i am highly intellectual counterpart), has fun hanging out with me, and enjoys my company. I chimed in "and we have a strong sexual connection", he laughed and said "are you trying to turning into the guy of the relationship and coming on to me right now", I said in a laughing voice "if you'll let me i will", he laughed and then said "its best if we don't open up that can of worms".
This is where I feel i screwed up. I said "if you say you still love me, and i love you why can't we give this another shot? Isn't love the basis for everything? I see now where we went wrong and I know your scared but I know I can give you what you need to make us happy". H said, "I wish you would have said that 6 months ago, as of right now i can't". I said, "I know you don't trust me. I respect your decision. I hope one day I can win back your trust so that you can let me back into your heart".
Here is the kicker folks: He said "Honey, I can't let you back in until you detach and I dont feel the pressure of the relationship on me. That is the only way I can let you back in". I said, "but I dont want you to think that my detachment means I don't love you anymore". H said "I will always know that you love me...just like you will always know that I love you". Lastly he said, "we are going to be like that couple in that movie 'its complicated' where the old divorced couple of 15-20 years hook up again and fall in love". I laughed and said "I truly hope it doesn't take that long".
So, we are supposed to go together to our S3 school recital tomorrow. On pins and needles on how that is going to go.
