If you had asked me about my posting in Piecing just 72 hours ago, I would have said "impossible, most surely it would be in Surviving". We all but had the papers signed and were well into negotiating the division of property. Daughter26 said that W had told her to stop wasteing her time talking about seeing mc, as there was "no chance" as recently as last Sunday. Then at 3AM Saturday morning as I was having a phone conversation with a very special supportive friend, W came home and said "please" hang up we need to talk". End result of about 24 hours of discussions and tears is that we have decided to try again. I indicated that she had to be absolutely serious about this, that I did not want to get my hopes all up and then have them dashed again. We have no illusions about this. This will be very hard work. We have been at this spot before--although this time we will have the advantage of things learned from the threads here and the support of friends met through these threads.. Very busy right now, but will give updates later. I appreciate all the support that friends here have shown. Harv
Dearest Harv: This is wonderful news! You must now make this the #1 priority in your life. Give your wife the time and attention she deserves. Maybe she broke up with possible OM, who knows, but her showing interest and agreeeing to go to MC is just what your M needs right now.
Just a suggestion and please don't take offense. You might have to limit your chat and phone time now so that she can trust your sincerity too. I know that you (like the rest of us) have needed the frienship and support you get here. I just don't want her trust to be in jeopardy.
Of course you will need the bb and we will all be here for you. I hope you can read Tony's and some of the other great stories here on piecing and see what has and hasn't worked.
You have been a great friend and I wish you the best. You know you can also email me anytime for advice.
You know that phrase, "couldn't have happened to a nicer guy"? Sure seems to fit this situation perfectly! I am so happy and relieved to hear this news from you. You have been such a kind and supportive person to so many people here, myself included. I feel blessed to call you a friend.
And here comes the "but".....(or the "and" depending upon how you look at it) I am in full agreement with Barbie regarding computer time. I think that you mentioned once that this was an issue for your W. Please know that everyone of your friends will understand if you take some time off. It is for a good cause afterall! And I promise you that we will be fine.
I just wanted to jump over here and see what all the commotion was about! I read your post on someone's thread on the MLC board and had to check it out.
I am soooooo happy for you! You've been very supportive and I gotta tell ya, I think there's something about you Midwest guys. I wish you all the best and I'm crossing my fingers and toes for you. I know you'll do your best to make this work. I hope your W does too. It's obvious she doesn't want a D, so that's a big plus.
Like the others said, time away from the bb would be good. We'll be here when you pop in. And we'll always be rootin' for ya!!
Wishing you tons of luck,
Sadeyez
PS Does this mean the nights of sitting on the porch gazing at the stars is at an end? Oh well, it's too cold for me anyway and now you'll have your W with you. Beth and I will have to sit with each other and drink wine to keep us warm! And we'll raise a glass (or two) to you!!
This is such great news. I often tell couples about these last minute miracles and people don't always believe me. But I've been around long enough to have witnessed many of them. I'm delighted you are added to this list. Keep up the great work! And congratulations! Michele
Thanks everybody for your wellwishes. Only a little time for an update. I thought living through a 5 year long in-house separation was a rollercoaster ride--this piecing makes me feel like that was childs play. Trying to maintain perspective here, that it can't be like this forever--but not sure how much more up and down I can handle. She can show me glimpses of how things were 37 years ago when we married and then within minutes she can be verbally tearing me to shreds. I am trying to take this all in stride--so far successful in not losing my cool. But I am beginning to feel very doormatish. Hate to admit it but I actually cried myself to sleep Mon night. (she says she does not feel ready to be intimate yet and I am respecting that--we are continuing to maintain the separate bedrooms of the past 5 yrs.) Has anything really changed? Did she see the divorce coming and felt it would upset things for her? Is this just a ploy to get me to back away from the D? Am I totally scrambled in my thinking? Yes, I'm venting too. Thanks for listening. Harv
I read your post on someone's thread on the MLC board and had to check it out.
I wish you all the best and I'm crossing my fingers and toes for you. I know you'll do your best to make this work. I hope your W does too. It's obvious she doesn't want a D, so that's a big plus.
