I was just looking at an article about detachment over at Livestrong.
I really think my problem has been that I had become so overly dependent on my wife. I felt incomplete without her. Obviously, if I am incomplete, then I need her. If I feel incomplete without her, I would naturally be very anxious about my situation and how things play out. That would lead me to either try to manipulate her into being with me, or to be overly affected by her decisions.
I am now working to prove to myself that I am complete without her. I believe that this will allow me to fully detach from her. By "detach", I do not mean giving up on our marriage, or building a wall between us. What I mean is fully functioning without anything gained from her.
If I "need" my wife, then I don't have anything that I can give her. She gives to me. Continually. If I am complete and whole by myself, then I have a source in myself from which I can give.
Wow PF that is good. I need to print your post!
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
