It has only been 4 weeks since the bomb was dropped and w is getting colder and colder. I have only had a few slip-ups and she gets sooo angry with me. I don't get angry back I just take it and validate. What I just don't get is that before the bomb she was loving and since then she is looking for reasons to be mad at me. She is the one who is getting what she wants with the D why be angry with me now?
Do these things ever resolve themselves? Or is it really more about me? If feels like giving up hope might be my first step towards recovery.
Me-45 W-44 T-7 years M-3 years (4th anniversary July 13, but we're separated) Kids from previous relationships (s14 d16 mine, s23, s24 hers)
It is definitely too soon to give up hope....it is a process. If you aren't talking to a coach yet, please call and set up an appointment. They are fantastic in helping you stay strong and guide you in how to deal with this in a way that can bring him closer and not push him further away. There is a $30 discount if you mention this email when you call in. Take care.
Karen, Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004 karen@divorcebusting.com
Give me a call if you'd like to schedule an appointment to speak with a Divorce Busting® Coach.
Wife has really been pushing my buttons and it is difficult to stay calm. There is definitely an OM in the picture now and I think that her relationship energy is going toward that. I have managed to stay calm so far, but I am worried that I will break down. Because there are no kids in the picture I have decided to go dark and I am mostly staying away from the house. With the only communication that we have related to business matters it is difficult to see how things could improve. She will be moved out in a few weeks and then there will be really no reason for me to contact her. Divorce will be simple and not require us to meet. I am working on myself. I am only employed part-time right now and I cannot afford a coach.
Me-45 W-44 T-7 years M-3 years (4th anniversary July 13, but we're separated) Kids from previous relationships (s14 d16 mine, s23, s24 hers)
Thank you for the support Sandi. I have posted in the newcomers forum with no responses lately. I have been sending friendly emails to w about dividing stuff because she is beginning to move out. I am initiating the paperwork for a simple divorce that gives her everything that she wants. I am hoping that pulling away may draw her back to me but I am very skeptical. I think that her new man is exciting to her and that is going to last for a while. After she moves out, we will have no reason to speak ever again. We will just have to sign final papers. I just don't know what else I can do now.
Me-45 W-44 T-7 years M-3 years (4th anniversary July 13, but we're separated) Kids from previous relationships (s14 d16 mine, s23, s24 hers)
I'm pretty new, but I am sure the vets will come by shortly to say read DR/DB, GAL & Act "as if"... as well as my personal favorite..patience!!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Your posts are slow to show up b/c you'll be on moderation until you send several. I suggest you send short post often until you're off moderation, then they'll pop up immediately.
Quote:
I am initiating the paperwork for a simple divorce
Are you initiating this D in hopes of turning her back to the M?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I initiated D because I own a home and I have a loan from my parents. W said I would get the house but parents need to see it in writing to relax. I really only hope the relationship last.. I am not too concerned with legal divorce.. I do hope moving forward with D will turn her back however, I read someplace that it might.
Me-45 W-44 T-7 years M-3 years (4th anniversary July 13, but we're separated) Kids from previous relationships (s14 d16 mine, s23, s24 hers)
