I'm happy he is interested in "trying" whatever that comes to or means for the both of you. Having been in that situation, I can understand the hurt he went through and wanting to "run away." I haven't a clue why he didn't try to connect before now, or why now for that matter. But it's a good thing that he would at least like to try. Speaks to growth.
I wonder from the contact if he's "stuck"?
Regardless, and I understand how you are in no position to want drama, I hope it works out well. For both your sake.
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Question on acting as if - for everyone who has experience. I don't want to push him away. I want to get on right now in the hopes that one day we can reconnect. I want to just forget him for right now and sort myself out. I am concerned if I do this too hard, and he does start to come around I will lose him. Any advice on what not to do?
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
Think of "dim" instead of "dark/no contact" maybe?
Re-read "The 37 (or so) Rules", memorize them...they were my guidelines for getting through "dim" while in same house with my mlc'er...this isn't an all or nothing deal...dim is like a dance, constant adjusting to meets the needs of the moment (kids, household stuff, etc) and figuring out what is working, and what is not.
Hang in there! T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
TS2-Thanks. I forgot about those "Rules" for some reason.
I did find them again and read and re-read them over and over yesterday trying to memorize them by heart. I have practiced most of these to some degree, so knowing I am on the right path is helpful. Thanks.
In a fog today, not much to offer.
Have a nice day everyone.
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
I want to get on right now in the hopes that one day we can reconnect. I want to just forget him for right now and sort myself out. I am concerned if I do this too hard, and he does start to come around I will lose him. Any advice on what not to do?
Trust. Trust that if he does decide he wants to connect, he'll find a way and trust that you'll make it possible at that time. Trust so that you don't have to worry in the in between time. Trust so you can put it far from your mind and let things happen as they happen
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Thanks AJ- that is a really good suggestion, I just don't have any trust left in the trust bank right now. Guess it is fine time I start depositing some so I can withdraw on later...
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
