Hey, is this the living in the same home like friendly roommates club? If so, count me in!
PON is right, we can’t focus too much on our W’s. It doesn’t help the sitch or us one bit. Probably pushes them away too, because neediness is very unattractive.
Acting “As If” is good, but really being in a place of contentment and high self esteem is better. Our W’s know us like a book, and can tell the difference.
I’ll tell you a couple things that help me accept giving her space / detaching / not focusing on everything she’s doing.
First, doing this is giving our W’s the best chance of reconsidering a M with us. Remind yourself this every day, and focus on the big picture, the end goal, instead of how you’re feeling at the moment.
Next, what else are you going to do? Leave her? Live on your own? Start up a new relationship which offers absolutely no guarantee? If you’re like me, none of these things hold the slightest appeal, so here I stand, being the H only a fool would leave.
We have to be strong. KNOW without a doubt that we will be fine without her if it comes to that. When we truly get to this point, our W’s will notice, and we will become more attractive.
Now if someone can remind me this the next time I feel like throwing in the towel, I’d surely appreciate it!
I will add to NOT walk around on eggshells worrying about every little thing YOU do or say around W. I think back to a few of the things I did early in our sitch and think "wow, I sure looked weak for doing that." Be confident and strong. Be the man any women would love to be with. You can fake it 'til you make it, but you gotta make it!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
