So what does one do with all the pain and loss and memories that occasionally surface? The thought of our family being torn asunder, no longer all living in the house here, the kids coming home, the sounds they make upstairs, their positive energy, gone, time grinding it all to nothing, this beloved house with all of its nooks and crannies, made for us, rips my heart out, knocks the breath out of me, death.
Do you hide this? Can it be transmuted?
It would be so strange to live here alone in this big box, W gone, D probably going to school and staying in Stockholm, echoing memories. It was bad enough bringing son to the UK, where he now studies, letting my flesh and blood beloved boy go. I sleep in his room just now, with his things, his spirit in them.
Why is life repeated losses? How on earth does one keep a PMA?
I am so humbled by and grateful for all you have given me - all of you -
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
