Stuck..how do I get out???

[tiredndrained]

Thanks misjjd...my goals...hmmm..I guess to try and not focus on my H so much and to find things to do with me and the kids that focuses on us. I volunteered for my S11 soccer travel team for some class a parent needs to take. Its at night so it will get me out of the house at least one night. Also, I'm trying to let him work through his own Sh--t without becoming involved. And, to get my finanical future settled so if I have to move or be on my own I can survive financially. Our home loan to save our mortgage actually went through. So, we won't be foreclosed on. I have to say that in an entire year, that is the only good thing that has happened.

He seems to be coming around a little but I don't focus on that either. No affection, not sleeping together. No real realationship. He talks about our family and future as if we will be together but we don't feel like a couple, only roommates.

He basically has been home this week. My S11 made a comment last night that he wonders if his father's gf broke up with him and that is why he is home and so cranky. I asked him why he thinks he has a gf and he said it is so obvious mom. He asked if I think he is right. He did get me thinking. Here I started thinking my H might just be coming around but my 11S seems to make more sense. He probably did just break up with the OW and that is the only reason he is home. He doesn't seem to enjoy being with his family anymore. It can't just be because he sudenly misses us. I guess I have to stick with the goals and focus less on him and his intentions and quirks and fix myself. AJ is right about the quirks. I can't make sense of them and I don't think I ever will.