I say yes to happy birthday, maybe card from S? My birthday, then H's birthday is in May so I've been wondering the same thing... good thing I have my bday first!
Careful about what you think you know with what H used to like... early on I had a breakdown moment where I said the same thing to H "I know I'm demanding and controling and too independent". His sad reply was "I've never minded any of that". And I can truly see that he didn't. Your husband was attracted to those qualities in you and probably still is. Have you examined what else could be an issue? I'm pretty confident in my R that my H didn't feel I loved him plain and simple. I was keeping all the balls in the air and running my family out of love for my H, but it's not the love expression that spoke most to him. Have you read 5 LL yet? I've recommended that book like 3 times this morning here.
I think the hardest thing for me, and maybe you too, is the sense of failure. I don't admit failure easily. I may concede, but I don't fail in general. So it's a huge blow to our ego to really relinquish control and know that we can't make this turn out one way or another.
It sounds like the panic is starting to subside. Keep up the good work!
