I'm sorry you are here. I can hear the pain in your words...I know this is difficult. Hang in there...listen to the advice you'll get her and really think about the questions you're asked.
How long have you been M? How long together? Why did your W have the previous A?
Originally Posted By: Positivespin
My 180s are- I used to drink 2-3 adult beverages a night - not one since the bomb Drop below 200 lbs - lost 38 lbs so far ...27 to go Complete a 5k on July 4 Pay off all debt on credit report
These aren't really 180s...seem more like goals. They are good, but it's not quite the same. For instance, if every time your W is late you jump her case, the 180 would be to not say anything.
Have you read DR? If not, do that first. When you're finished, check out 5LL.
What do you think the problems are in the M? What were her complaints?
Originally Posted By: Positivespin
My wife still interacts with me -she initiates conversation and I stay positive and I've stopped reading her texts and snooping computer history but I still backslide with exposing emotion. Yesterday morning when she came home while holding my d I looked at her and said We miss you........I know I need to stop that and am working Very hard at it.
First, great...you are starting. You have to stop pursuing her though. Don't try to make her feel guilty either. You need to try to turn the focus off what what she is doing and turn it on what you are doing.
This whole process is difficult, but we'll help you work your way thru it. Couple of things to think about:
- Self respect. Your W won't respect you unless you respect yourself. Set boundaries and enforce them. This is a tough topic but the sooner you start thinking about it, the better. - GAL. This will keep you sane. - Focus on you and your D.
