I am well aware of the fact im giving her a free pass to continue her screwed up journey
Change how you look at it bro. You are really not giving her a "free pass". She is gonna do whatever it is she feels she needs to do. Nothing that you can really do about that. So focus on the real reason that I think you are okay with taking step son and that is....cause you love the kid and know that he needs you. The hell with X...oh...and she may never get tired of running that should not matter to you, especially if you are living for YOU.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
The real and only reason is the kids. She is lost in space and its tru that she may never return to planet earth again.
I feel blessed to be able to be a strong influece in stepsons life. When he is at his moms place they together are two teenagers and he needs stability now more then ever.
Life is truly an adventure and this next chapter will be one of the most important ones in my life.
I feel blessed to be able to be a strong influece in stepsons life
You are bro and so is your SS!
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
She leaves son home alone on a Saturday night to go on a date with OM2
She brings OM2 and his two children home to spend the night at her place while stepson spends the weekend at a friends place. Next day she and OM2 D and his children spend the night at his place.
She has known him for four weeks.
I have heard it gets worse before it gets better. But how the hell can a person treat her own children like this?
Life right now is smooth sailing. We are NC and I dont want anything to do with her. Perhaps in a couple of years since these last few events finalized my patience and respect for anything thats her right now. And the less I know about her confused life the better for me.
Weekend with D and stepson went great. Just as expected. Looking forward to friday again so it can be the three of us. Booked solid throught the weekend with activities and fun. Its totally worth it spending less when im on my own.
Really need advice. Im so frustrated with the way my exW treats our kids. Theres no point in talking to her since I have tried several times before. She listens but doesnt take any of my advice on how this all effects them.
She is in such a me mode that Im really at my wits end.
Theres nothing she does that would give me any leagal leverage to act on.
Its so frustrating seeing her actions and how it effects them. It feels like being the stabe, sane adult isnt enough. They will still be affected for the rest of their lifes bc of her selfishness.
First of all, you can't keep judging your XW's actions based on your expectations. I've read your posts for awhile and you have never gotten rid of the resentment that you have for her. If you keep refusing to accept the way she currently sees things, nothing will be resolved.
You can't FORCE her to do anything. You still want to control her. I understand that your children are being hurt, HOWEVER, unless she's putting them in immediate physical harm, there's nothing she's doing wrong to them. She just doesn't want a R with you and you're not helping by holding onto the resentment you have for her.
"She listens but doesnt take any of my advice"
That's your problem right there. The more you preach to her, the less she is going to listen. You read DB right? That's the number one thing that you DON'T do. But you've been doing it since the beginning which is why she's tuned you out which makes you even madder and the cycle goes round and round again.
YOU have to put a stop to your actions if you want to see any change. She doesn't want someone telling her what to do and the same goes for you.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
She just doesn't want a R with you and you're not helping by holding onto the resentment you have for her.
Help me out! What am I not helping with?
Mr Bond!
We have almost no contact at all. I have no clue as to how she currently sees things because we do not talk to eachother unless its reguarding kids. Therefor I have no actions to stop. Preaching would imply me trying to force my point of views onto her. I dont.
I come here with my frustrations and im thankful for the advice. I know she doesnt want me and im fine with that.
Im not fine with her behaviour though. Do I have to be?
Hi PeterP. No, you don't have to be fine with the behavior. But I think, in the spirit of things, that comes across as resentment vs. dealing with the current behavior. It may be just dealing with the current behavior, and if that's the case, then I agree no you don't have to be fine with it.
At some point, you do need to be ok with her doing things her way even if you disagree.
I disagree with Mr Bond on the idea that you can't judge her actions based on your expectations. Yes you can. You are. And as a separate human being, I can't think how else you would. Just so long as you realize you'll be disappointed each and every step with this new person that used to be somebody you knew.
Keep venting. There's a lot to vent Make sense?
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
I think accepting her behavior would be a sign of your denial. You are being honest and seem to have expectations a normal human being should have. If you didn't, then I'd worry. It's more than OK to hate her behavior. Isn't that why we are all here? To find validation when the insanity is too much for us to handle alone?
Just my .03
Heather (I gave myself an extra penny :-)
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
