Thank you folks for your feedback. It means a lot to know I'm not alone in all of this craziness (though I'm sorry that we all find ourselves here).
Thanks Portia! I figured I'm moving through a new phase and and am no longer frozen in place. Even when I have moments where I wonder and question my future and where I want to be, I am grateful my H wants to work on our R.
H went back east yesterday, putting in his notice at his job and his apartment, he's been shipping items home, and buying his last plane ticket ever back to SoCal. We had dinner with his new boss and his wife at a fancy spot in Hollywood last weekend, part of the wooing and the interview process. It went very well and everyone is excited for this new job opportunity.
H went to IC with my C while he was home. And he is eager for us to continue with both IC and MC for us. We had some ups and downs while he was home. Mostly ups but some heavy and heated discussions thrown in there as well. Both of us are trying to catch ourselves before we start playing old tapes in these discussions. We don't always catch ourselves right away, but I will say...H used to always avoid the uncomfortable and stressful. In the past, he would leave and shut down when things got too much for him. He's really making a point to not do that and I have acknowledged my recognition and appreciation of that.
I'm both excited and nervous for the final move home. I know we still have quite a bit of road to travel. I want to hope we keep moving in a positive direction. Right now we both are committed to improving our R. Living together again full time after 2 years is going to bring its own set of stressors, on top of the breakdowns in our M over this past year.
Hoping to have a better handle on things over the next couple months after he's home. I have no idea if my sitch helps anyone at all, but will keep you posted in case it does. Thanks everyone.
