Wow, very sorry to hear how things have been going! I'm not sure what incident you're referring to but it sounds like a car crash and I hope you're okay. To respond to your comment I don't think that you (or I) could be like my W. If you had the capacity to turn it off that way and just not deal with your issues you would have.
Let's go at this from another direction -- you've had good satisfying relationships prior to H right? You know you have it in you. Why stay in this one? You can't change him, but you also can't accept him as he is. There is no option for you at this point that doesn't suck, so embrace that and decide to pursue the least sucky option you feel you have. If you decide you won't have a good outcome, which one is least-worst?
Sorry CV I really do feel badly about your sitch
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
