Unlearning conflict avoidance 3

[Occy01]

Luke you are expanding this thing into something larger to justify procrastinating. None of the house details need to be worked out in your first conversation. Your first conversation is just statement of 3 simple facts:

1. You don't want to renovate and won't spend the money

2. You don't want to sell and want to continue living there

3. You are going to sleep upstairs when the kids are home

End of discussion. Everything else can wait, let's get W to understand these three first.

Will you do that? Don't make it a bigger issue in order to then postpone and avoid it. Just tell her those three things and nothing more.

Luke, i totally agree with accuray and sandi2. I don't think you need to discuss this with W just yet. Stick to accurays 3 point list. I'd still like to answer your original question, in more detail, so you can put it to bed, as it were.

Here in Sweden it goes like this...

You agree with W ( with the help of a couple of different agent estimates) on a value for the house. Say 3 million. You bought the house for say 1 million. Thats a profit of 2 million. Minus amount of money you've spent on IMPROVING the house, say 500000. Thats 1.5 million left, pure profit. Divided by 2 ( you and w), 750000. Minus her share of profit tax which is in the region of 25% ( say 187500), makes 562500 kr. This is what you pay her for her share. Then you must take over whats left of the loan you both took on the house, say 1 million. Leaving a total bank loan of 1562500 kr.... Wow, kinda hard work writing it down, hope I didn't make a mistake!! Pretty sure its right, but won't bet my life on it!!

Hope that puts your mind at ease, now concentrate on the great 3 point list you got from accuray....