JP, I hope you get some much needed rest. When you awake go outside and take a nice long walk if its nice outside. Start thinking about what you really want in life and how you plan on getting there. I dont have a confirmed OM in my sitch. So i cant speak to exactly how that feels. But i will say there was a weekend a month and half ago where i did some snooping of epic portions and it didn't make me feel better, only worse. For those couple days I was where you are right now. Like I said in an earlier post, it got better when I finally told myself there is nothing I can do to stop it or control even if something is going on anyways. I also believed in my case that I did have some responsibility for her getting to that point if she actually had. The one question I had to answer was, "does it change things?"
No it doesn't. I too drove my W to this point. She tried and tried to wake me up, I was gone. Now that I am awake, there isnt a day that goes by that I don't think back and wonder wtf was wrong with me.
Originally Posted By: cbtdad
Meaning if I did find out for sure would I not want my W back. My conclusion was no! It wouldnt change anything and I would still want to at least try and work on our marriage. My W is in FLorida all week with a couple of guys. Guess what, for all i know she could be having a threesome every night. But she could also be telling them that she is having second thoughts and wants to work on our marriage. The point is I have no way of knowing for sure. You have control over your thoughts and actions. Once you realize you have that control it will get easier. PMA!!!!
You are right and seem to have a good handle on your sitch, I am happy for you.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
