Wendylon, SS, Thanks for your support through these last few days. This was tough going for me.
I agree, SS, that back-pay for CS is also needed...& I made the point in court. STBX is just so far from being able to grasp his responsibilities at the moment. The process over the next few months is likely to make him worse.
Labug, Thanks for your continuing support too - it means so much. I was really stopped in my tracks to read your advice:
"I hope at the end of all this you can come to a place where you no longer feel responsible for the feelings of others."
I've never even thought that I shouldn't be responsible for how others' feel. I am processing this idea slowly, arguing back and forth with myself about whether this is possible (on the one hand, of course what I do is going to affect others and therefore I am responsible for how they feel; if I treat them badly, they will feel bad.
On the other hand, I just act; they are responsible for how they react. As long as I don't act out of malice towards them, I shouldn't be responsible for how they feel.)
Anyway, you've helped me to think about an aspect of my habitual behaviour that might need changing for the better, so thanks again.
