Blake- to be honest, this weekend was more a "bad" on me. Don't get me wrong, he's being a huge jerk. But, I know he is conflicted. He doesn't know what he wants. He said I'm perfect, wonderful, I've changed. He's lost. He said its all on him now to get better. And...I got a little hope. Which is ok, I guess, but then i slept with him. Reality is I don't know if I see a future, but I wanted to feel connected to someone in that moment.

I just look at him as doing the best he can. It may look super crappy to me, but it's his best. I have to protect my POM, because he won't. And that is the lesson I learned this weekend. We are 2 months into him seeing a future for us, but he can't stop with OW. And he can't stop with me. So, I have to protect my boundaries. That's not on him. As much as I would like to blame him, that's old behavior. I did that. Me. Boo hiss.

M: 9 yrs
T: 13 yrs
H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months
Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs
Dbing 12/12
S 1/13
7/13 H moved back in basement.
8/13 #3 born
10/13 still cheating
10/13 He moves across country, I file for D