Without any contact, I wonder how she could be attracted back. I guess I just need to have faith in the process.
The WAS tends to rewrite history and convince themselves that every single problem in their life, both great and small, are because of the LBS and if only they can get the LBS out of their life then it will free them up to live the amazing, fantastic, fun-filled extravaganza that they've been wanting to live for years. But more often than not, when the LBS is removed through separation and going dark, the WAS suddenly discovers that their fantasy life isn't there for the taking after all. It's a rude awakening to discover they STILL have to pay bills, STILL have to vacuum and do laundry and balance the checkbook and go to work and go grocery shopping and get the oil changed in the car, etc. etc. and most shockingly of all, there is not a line of Fabio lookalikes standing outside their door waiting to sweep them into a deep, romantic embrace. The skies are NOT filled with rainbows and unicorns and there are NOT rivers of chocolate on the ground flowing around money trees. In short, the WAS often discovers that their unhappiness is not due to their LBS after all, it's something they're carrying with them. So then they have to wrestle with that demon. They have to find out what happiness is to them, what it means to them, and where to go from there. Hopefully at this stage they start remembering that they had GOOD times with the LBS too. The fog starts lifting. Then they start thinking what if. What if the LBS isn't the enemy? What if the LBS really has changed? What if life could be enjoyable with this new and improved LBS? What if they wait too long, could they lose the LBS?
This is the WAS's journey. The only way the LBS can help is to get out of the way, to give the WAS time and space to follow this path. THAT is how the process works
