She was friendly, but mentioned that it felt weird that the other girls in our group of freinds were hosting the party.
It could have been that the party kind of hit her that things were really going to change for you as well as for her. The fact other women were being hostess probably helped drive it home. Sometimes women send silent messages to other women. Were any of those girls single?
But as Bond would say, we're just mind guessing.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
^^^^Exactly. SP you seem to take 2 steps forward and 5 steps back and are making almost no meaningful progress at all.
I know this isn't easy; I've been in your shoes. Believe me, bringing up ANY aspect of the R will do you no good if you are trying to reconcile. There may come a time when you realize you no longer want to reconcile - then you can bring it up all you want. Go back and re-read DR again.
You're going to have to get past the desire to talk about dating, R, whatever and get out and GAL - for yourself! Identify those traits that need to be fixed and do it. Stop worrying about your W or the R - you can't do anything about either one right now so work on yourself.
She was friendly, but mentioned that it felt weird that the other girls in our group of freinds were hosting the party.
It could have been that the party kind of hit her that things were really going to change for you as well as for her. The fact other women were being hostess probably helped drive it home. Sometimes women send silent messages to other women. Were any of those girls single?
None of the other women were single. However, one of our married friends came and shared a barstool with me during the fights. That would be totally normal behavior for us. But Apparently on this night, W was upset about that. She expressed to another friend that it was disrespectful. In times past, W would not have batted an eye.
W has also questioned people in our group about single women being present at out get togethers.
I am not remotely trying to guess why she is even concerned. Perhaps she's jealous. Perhaps she is remorseful. Perhaps she is looking for an excuse to do the same. I really don't know and probably never will.
I do know that if I was the one moving on, with the same feelings that my W expresses to have, I wouldn't have attended the Birthday party in the first place. I definitely would not have been hugging on her or rubbing her arm. plus, why on Earth would I get upset that other men were showing her attention. I would have already moved on...right?...EXACTLY!
I do know that if I was the one moving on, with the same feelings that my W expresses to have, I wouldn't have attended the Birthday party in the first place. I definitely would not have been hugging on her or rubbing her arm. plus, why on Earth would I get upset that other men were showing her attention. I would have already moved on...right?...EXACTLY!
But here, I'd still consider this mind reading, SP. Or at least trying to make sense of her actions - which you can't!
And really, she doesn't know what she feels or why she feels that way. It could be genuine confusion. It could be guilt. It could be jealousy. It could be ANYTHING. There's no way for you to know, and it's useless to try to make sense of the situation...
Suckerpunch, glad the party went well. My thought is that even if W is not sure if she wants you she may be thinking that she doesn't want anyone else to be with you either (jealous). I think that this could be read as a positive because you can still affect the way she feels. The opposite of love is not hate it is indifference. If you can still affect her by your actions then she is not indifferent to you.
M 37 W 36 T22 M14 D8 D4 8/2012 distanced BD 11/2012 (likely wants D. Feelings have changed.) W move out date: June 8th.
Suckerpunch, glad the party went well. My thought is that even if W is not sure if she wants you she may be thinking that she doesn't want anyone else to be with you either (jealous). I think that this could be read as a positive because you can still affect the way she feels. The opposite of love is not hate it is indifference. If you can still affect her by your actions then she is not indifferent to you.
