As I've said before, H plans on travelling overseas in 2-3 years time. Every so often he makes the comment that he is still going overseas, nothing has changed, even though we are planning ahead with our business.
That's quite a ways off, I'm sure by then you'll have a better grasp of where your M is going one way or the other. I wouldn't worry about it for now. When he brings it up then just listen to him and make neutral comments like "I understand your stance on this."
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Also, H frequently says he feels guilty for hurting me so badly. ( I did a lot of crying in the first week or so after H said he was leaving, I tend to have a few tears when he's not around now)
WAS's will often be overwhelmed with guilt about their actions and may even cry about it, but don't confuse that for a desire to reconcile. They are still resolute that they're making the right decision in leaving. When he brings it up just validate his feelings. Don't say things like "I understand, I feel that way too" or "you shouldn't feel guilty" or "you should feel guilty, I'm in a lot of pain over this." All of those things belittle his feelings and emotions. Just ask him how he feels, try to get him to discuss his feelings. Just validate his emotions by saying things like "Are you in pain? I understand why you're in pain, this is a very difficult thing for you to go through, I'm sorry you're hurting." I know how difficult it is for the LBS to reaffirm the WAS when the LBS feels like they are the one that should be affirmed (believe me I do personally know!) but it's what the WAS needs to help them through the process of finding their way.
