Luke, I’m not sure how the subject changed from discussing the R to buying out your house, but you are asking us questions you should be asking your banker & lawyer. The bottom line here is that you have to face her anger, in whatever you decide. This is the issue you began your thread, and it's still the issue today.
It seems very clear that you were traumatized by your father's anger. I'm sure it is difficult for a child to overcome. He bullied his employees through anger & criticism. He probably ran his family much like he did his employees. Employees took it in order to keep a job. But it was their choice to stay and work for him. You didn't have much choice as a child growing up under him, but you are an adult now....with choices. Your W is not your father. You are not under her authority like you were your parent's.
I asked you once what was the worse she did when she was mad, and you said she yelled at you. Besides having flashbacks of your dad, why does that send you running like a scared little rabbit? She yells, so what? It's unpleasant, but it won't kill you. I believe you feel rejected whenever she's not pleased with any thought you have...or any action you do. That's why her criticism paralyzes you.
She bullies you b/c you let her. She can control you b/c she knows you will avoid any unpleasant scenes at all costs. Sadly, it has cost your M. It doesn’t have to cost you your manhood, too. Take your b@lls back from your W.
You feel that you must have a very logical and justifiable case to present before you will even attempt to discuss any subject with her. Forget logic and justification! Do what you want. You don't have to explain anything to her or anybody else! You are a grown man!
You have been a prisoner to this type of rejection & fear your entire life. It's time to break free and start living.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
