Wow! Thank you so much for you kind and wonderful advice. After the first week on this forum, I didn't think I was going to get much help, but I was wrong! Thank you all for your kind words.
Well I have an update from my first post that I think will shed alot of light on my situation. I now have proof of a physical relationship. This past weekend we helped our friend(OM) move into his new house and we spent the night there after the move. On Sunday morning I volunteered to run to the grocery store to pick-up a few things, leaving them alone in the house. I left my phone behind and set it to record sound. I was gone for about 30 minutes, and when I returned everything seemed fine and normal. As soon as I could, I excuse myself from my wife and the OM and listened to what my phone had recorded. My suspicions where right, I could clearly hear them having sex. I was devestated, I was pretty sure they were having an affair, but to hear it was overwhelming. It took everything I had to hold it together and not let on to what I had found. My wife could tell something was wrong but I didn't tell her anything. I just told her I wasn't feeling well. We stayed for a few more hours and then packed-up and left for home. On the drive home my wife tried to get me to talk about what was wrong with me, but couldn't bring myself to discuss it with her just yet. Later that night I finaly did tell her that I knew she was in love with the OM and that he was in love with her too. She of course told me that I was being silly and that they were just good friends. We continued to discuss the situation and I finaly asked her point blank, did she and the OM do anything while I was gone to the store? She got very flustered and angry that I would accuse her of something like that. Then she wanted to know why I would ask that, did I have proof? I didn't want her to know that I had scretely recorded them together so I told her that I had notched certain indications on his bed (i.e. wet spots). She then proceeded to berate me for accusing her of such a thing and for all she knew he (OM) had had a wet dream last night. At this point I was just wanting her to confess to the affair becuase I knew if she denied it,knowing that I knew about it, then that meant her relationship to him was more important to her than healing ours. We talked some more last night about it, and I assured her that if she was telling me the truth then I would believe her and trust her. But of course I know she is lying and intends to continue the relationship, but more discretely. Even as I write this she is planning on being with him this Thursday on the pretext of going to a meeting.
So now what? Do I go on pretending I don't know? Do I confront her with the conclusive evidence? I want to save my marriage and not drive her into the arms of the OM. The hardest thing for me right now is the fact she is lying to me and her pretending everything is fine between us. Everytime I think about them together I get sick to my stomach and I have a hard not showing my emotions to my wife.
Thanks again for all your words of wisdom and support.
