Telling your W to lose OM or D...yea, not going to make you feel any better & she will probably chose OM. I find making any decisions while in pain & turmoil is a bad idea. My decisions & boundaries that I know I need to do stay when I'm calm. when my H wanted to move forward with our R while keeping IW as a FB friend & being secretive with his phone, I knew that wasn't going to work for me. I stated I needed those things or we separate. I did not do that to get him to do anything. Frankly, I knew he'd move out. It was my truth.
My H is in a full on EA/PA right now. Can't decide between her & I. Still puts the moves on me, and up until Friday I told him I'm not in an open marriage. I did it, and now feel like junk. So, I won't anymore. If you are sleeping with her & sexting her expecting to be the only one in her life that she is doing that with, then you have your answer. Dont do it then.
I know your pain all too well!!! This weekend was painful for me. I got obsessed with thinking about my H & OW, I'm less than, what does she have that I done...bam!! Sucs! But, it hurts less now than in the beginning because I have tools. I've never missed a day of work during this. Now, I've been totally unproductive but I go. I do things I enjoy, try to snap my brain out if the obsessive thinking. This is NOT about us being less than. Nothing anyone does is a reason for someone to cheat. It does not define my self worth, it defines my H's. All I can do is work on being a better person for me, for my kuds.
HUGS!!!!! This place is hard!!
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
but I go. I do things I enjoy, try to snap my brain out if the obsessive thinking. This is NOT about us being less than. Nothing anyone does is a reason for someone to cheat. It does not define my self worth, it defines my H's. All I can do is work on being a better person for me, for my kuds.