Thanks

[PatientMan]

So my mother, sweet woman, wrote W a letter. According to W (since I haven't read it), there is nothing in the letter I disagree with, but it did contain messages that could be perceived as pressure. For example, my mother is divorced and remarried, so she has that relatable experience to what W is going through. She said something along the lines of her current marriage going through tough times and God can help us work it out. I don't know what the rest of the letter contained.

Aargh!

I spoke with my mother recently who mentioned she wanted to write W. Back when I informed my parents of the sitch, she asked if it was okay if she contacted W to just let her know that my parents loved her and want the best for her and are there for her if she needs anything. And my mother is genuine in this thought...as I said she's a sweet woman.

So recently she told me she wants to write a letter. What she said she wanted to write was a WHOLE LOTTA pressure, especially considering I have completely shut off that valve. I briefly informed her of the strategy I was employing and asked that she limit her words to reminding W that she loves her and anything else that was just nice in general, but NOTHING that can even be PERCEIVED as pressure on the R...PLEASE. I reminded her that she's a grown woman who can write what she wants, but I asked that she didn't undo the hard work I have been putting in.

I'm sure the letter is fairly tamed down, but even that she mentioned God could help us "work it out" means she isn't "getting it" or just had something she HAD to say. I know she had good intentions, but I guess I'm going to have to speak with her.

Context: mum lives out of state and has little contact with W and family in general, other than phone calls every few weeks and a couple of visits a year. Also, as soon as W got the mail today she texted me saying she received a letter from my mother. I'm sure it came as a surprise.

Oh well. Adapt and move forward! I feel better today than yesterday!