Think i will tell w since she wont give up OM we need to D.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
don't listen to anything posted. Beyond frustrating
?
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
I didn't sleep at all. I am on the verge of loosing it just thinking about wife talking with OM. Tried breathing, reading, just am hyper focused. Will not goto work, maybe take something to make me sleep, idk. I am a mess and even my logic is not coming through for me right now. I know I can't react to my fears or I will forever regret it.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
JP, if you are not going to get it together for yourself then get it together for your kids. You are not the only person going through this. You are going to get through this. But you have to begin to take the steps to do so
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
Jp you are all over the place and don't listen to anything posted. Beyond frustrating
JP, cover your ears for a minute...
PON,
You of all people know, that while the monsters are playing kickball in your head,(or a hamster wheel), then you will not hear anything until you are ready to hear it....
I think that JP does read everything, although the hard stuff gets skimmed over because it causes him a lot of pain, and it is too close for him to take a look at.
The things that hit home for him, put him outside of his comfort zone, and he pushes it away, as if it is just a bad dream. Hoping that he will awake from it.
It is a normal reaction for some people to do this. It is a protective blanket that they wear. Keeps them nice and cozy warm in their own space.
JP has to decide that he is ready first.
YOU have been there, and you know what it is like...
Tell him what worked for you, and what really helped you be ready to do the work...
PON- I understand your frustrations. I don't have an answer other than I am trying. Did your W ever cheat on you? For me this is something I can't seem to deal with. Mach1 - your Patience with me is a testament to your caring. I am sure it wears thin, so i will not talk, but show you my appreciation. MS coming soon. Need sleep now.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Think i will tell w since she wont give up OM we need to D.
That's your decision but I would recommend you think about this a little bit.
Is there any benefit to making that statement now? Do you think it will help eliminate the pain? Will it put you in control of the situation? Is this an ultimatum you're ready for?
Remember what I've told you before about reacting to emotion?
Act instead of react.
Originally Posted By: jp787
I didn't sleep at all.
Not unheard of when dealing with this kind of stuff. I didn't sleep from BD day (a Friday) until that Monday afternoon (literally). I was a complete and utter mess. That weekend I was at a men's retreat and I'll never forget it. So awkward when gathered with almost 500 guys and one of the men's leaders is sitting in corner or against a tree crying most of the weekend... I was just telling one of the guys on here that I broke down in the middle of the championship paintball match, just bawling inside my mask (even took a paint ball to the neck and it didn't get me out of it). Trust me, the emotions you're feeling are perfectly normal and you can, and will, get past them.
The other thing I remember from that weekend and from my time on these boards is how amazing it is that total strangers will support you and lift you up when you're willing to let them. That weekend I wasn't, heck I wasn't ready for a good 4-6 weeks after BD, but when I decided it was time my healing has accelerated exponentially.
Originally Posted By: jp787
Tried breathing
Breathing is a good thing .
Originally Posted By: jp787
Will not go to work
Why? Does sitting at home accomplish anything? Seems like it's the opposite of what you should be doing (unless you're doing something fun today which then go for it).
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
.