When times got crazy at the beginning (and trust me, they did) I set huge boundaries to protect myself as well. The sitch you see me in now, is very different from where I was in November of last year, even December. They helped me focus on myself, my kids and get myself back from a very dark place.
I am glad you will see a lawyer. H went through a period of conflicting emotions concerning what I should do (with house, kids etc) where I should live...okay, he was on the crazy train.....so I saw a lawyer to get advice and also I have D papers drawn- but that is in concert with my own private timeline.
You need to protect you and the babies first. Boundaries and lawyer are good starts
