Just wanted to say hello as I am in the same place as you right now, and reading your posts whilst I am on moderation is helping me feel less alone.
Like me you sound like you are up and down, and feel a little panicked about how well your W is coping, and how its so easy for her and almost matter of fact - for instance, 'i have seen a house i like', 'who is going to keep this when we divorce'etc.
I am far from an expert - more a rookie. However one thing I have read in my many books(not yet received my copy of DR), is that panic is one thing that can push you W away further. I've done panic just about every week up to now and each time regretted it. So now learning to not act upon my panic and go away and think about how to handle each situation. Its not easy, and right now I am holding onto some feelings that really hurt because I don't know the truth, but I think its the best way. Again, these are early days so I may be wrong, but certainly panicking and then approach W about things straight away was not working at all.
Look after yourself!
Me: 38 W: 35 M: 9Yrs T: 15Yrs S8 D5 BD: Feb 13 Still Living Together
I feel like I'm in thick forest, I'm slowly drawing a map of the way out, but not sure yet which side of the forest I will emerge.
