Hi BD, Yes, I have owned up to many faults and I guess that is why I have resentment. I owned up to mine but not her. Can't force someone to. I tried to open the discussions like you are saying for months...she would not deal wit it. She demanded trust. We had several and specific scheduled app'ts in therapy to deal with it. The second we started she would 180 the topic. This went on for months and created more insecurity. I would also simply ask what her day looked like in the morning and she would get defensive, or ask her how her day was and she would get defensive. That drives anxiety. She complained that I never asked about her day and then when I did her reaction was not one that makes a betrayed spouse comfortable. That is the best I can describe it. Maybe my tone, maybe her interpretation. You mention that your W had more than one EA. Well, isn't that what we were worried about? Seems there is no accountability and we are blamed for infidelity. Yes, she interpreted controlling and suspicious which yes drove her further away. When you are in it though it is mostly unwittingly and without the benefit of what we know now. That said, I was was honest and she was not. It will be a long day tomorrow. I am scared....she lies well. But, that is what my lawyer is for.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
