ad - I didn't think so either, but, it never hurts to get a fresh perspective.
T - I can't say it's what I want, but, after the last two years this has been going on; not to mention the previous years of dysfunction, I just don't see any other conclusion.
More pondering -
While W and I do get along as friends, she has no desire to try to work on 'us'; she feels that if we have to work at it, it's not right. It should all come easily. Simply put, I think from her perspective, she's done and is only here for convenience right now.
Plus, W has no desire for transparency and that is something I would insist on - for both of us. She wants to be able to carry on whatever type of conversation with whomever she wants; male or female. Much of what brought this to a head last year were very sexually oriented text messages between W and other guys - and not even sexually based jokes. She said they were just fooling around, but, I doubt the other guys W's would agree with that (and I have proof that two didn't agree).
Many of her actions really offended our older D's, both of which told her so. She was very overtly flirtatious; verbally and physically. At the time, her opinion was she had to live for herself and not for anyone else.
She's toned it down quite bit since leaving the business partnership - which from my view, adds some credence to my theory that she was looking at the business as a potential way out. When it became apparent that it wasn't going to work out that way, is when she started changing her tone. (I know - mind reading...)
And really, I think just as much damage has been done to me as her from all of the friction over the last 5 years or so. I'm tired of the stress and being the only one trying to change things. It's possible she's just as tired of the same things.
From my view, I can see where we've been living a loveless/sexless/unhappy M for quite a while. I've gotten to the point where I'm tired of feeling like there's a gaping hole in my life. DBing has helped tremendously WRT finding out who I am, and it's enabled me to get to a point where I can see the situation for what it is. And reading other people's sitches and the advice of the many wise people here has really helped.
