I recall the early weeks, although I prefer to forget. They are soooo hard. (almost 3m for me now). Reading DR saved my Butt!! I was doing it all wrong in the beginning & still learning now. I am in a better place now, although still a long way off from where I want to be.
SPACE and time & not pushing are the ANSWERS for your sanity & theirs.
Try hard to find other things to do (I know, impossible) to focus elsewhere... little by little, it gets better.
((HUGS))
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Thanks to everybody so far, its great to be able to hear from people who are going through / been through the same rather than from friends and family that mean well, but don't really understand.
I would loved to answer each question right now, but until my answer can appear quick I feel I am going to get in a right mess.
mrtwopointfour, sorry to hear about your situation.
You are in the best place that you can be right now. Vets will start to chime in soon with some great advice.
Listen and trust the suggestions you are provided here.
Use the board for whatever you need it for - venting, journaling, receiving advice......
Everyone here has experienced something similar and will be here for support. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
Me-48,W-51 M-22,T-24 S- 18,16,9 Feb-Jul '11 Away from Home, after initial B date Aug-Dec '11 Back at Home on couch Dec '11-now Same bedroom, room mates only Dec '14 W files initial D paperwork
No I am waiting for DR in the post. It as dispatched today so fingers crossed will be with me soon. Like I say I have read Andrew G Marshalls book which are great, and I think are a similar principle, but possibly a little more soft in approach? Just assuming!
Me: 38 W: 35 M: 9Yrs T: 15Yrs S8 D5 BD: Feb 13 Still Living Together
I feel like I'm in thick forest, I'm slowly drawing a map of the way out, but not sure yet which side of the forest I will emerge.
If W has been away for w/e and conducted PA, would she be extra happy on return, more chatty, do more for me? She actually touched me for the first time in months last night - yes only to move me out of the way - but past weeks has not come near me - it's all odd. Guilt maybe? I am trying to analyse now, which I am guessing is a 'don't' : )
Me: 38 W: 35 M: 9Yrs T: 15Yrs S8 D5 BD: Feb 13 Still Living Together
I feel like I'm in thick forest, I'm slowly drawing a map of the way out, but not sure yet which side of the forest I will emerge.
Hi there, sorry to be impatient, I know that is something I need to learn, but I am feeling desperate. I post some days back and since then my sitch has changed somewhat to the point of knowing my W has spent the weekend with OM when she told me and the kids she was visiting a friend! Can you release my post please so I can talk to people??!
Sorry you are on moderation still. Looks like right now you have 8 posts pending.
Hopefully they will get to them soon.
Sorry about the OM, they lie, and really can't be trusted.
Think like she is a teenager. Only wants her way.
It will take a while for her to grow up.
Keep posting on this thread and your answers should get released soon.
Hi there, sorry to be impatient, I know that is something I need to learn, but I am feeling desperate. I post some days back and since then my sitch has changed somewhat to the point of knowing my W has spent the weekend with OM when she told me and the kids she was visiting a friend! Can you release my post please so I can talk to people??!
Sorry you are on moderation still. Looks like right now you have 8 posts pending.
Hopefully they will get to them soon.
Sorry about the OM, they lie, and really can't be trusted.
Think like she is a teenager. Only wants her way.
It will take a while for her to grow up.
Keep posting on this thread and your answers should get released soon.
Thanks Cadet. I think there has been more than i anticipated, although i am jumping to conclusions. But more fits together with those conclusions that without them.
Me: 38 W: 35 M: 9Yrs T: 15Yrs S8 D5 BD: Feb 13 Still Living Together
I feel like I'm in thick forest, I'm slowly drawing a map of the way out, but not sure yet which side of the forest I will emerge.
2.4...first of all...breathe dude.....you are in panic mode.
Second of all, take time to answer all Spartan's questions and post them here.
Third...get out, exercise is best, especially for guys. Love your kids, keep mouth shut, stop snooping and BREATHE!!!!
You are right I am in panic mode. I am dying to ask, and living in the same house it is killing me to look at her and think she has been with OM. But know that if there is a slightest chance that its innocent, this will write off any chance of this working out for me. I should not have snooped, I had no reason to doubt, but i did (and by the way i only know that the location was not where she claims to have been, i have not seen concrete evidence of who she was with) - and now i am in this mess. The reason I want to know is, if she has i don't know how i feel about it, if knowing would give me that final reason to give up then its better sooner than later. However, i am assuming she has and i still want to fight, so maybe i have answered my own question there.
I will get onto spartans questions tonight and try to give more info.
Me: 38 W: 35 M: 9Yrs T: 15Yrs S8 D5 BD: Feb 13 Still Living Together
I feel like I'm in thick forest, I'm slowly drawing a map of the way out, but not sure yet which side of the forest I will emerge.
