Ha - After two years - I'm still learning. We always will be.
Originally Posted By: findingself
But I can't use it...I already told him I was staying the night...
So I need to tell him I have changed my mind...
Ok... so
"I've changed my mind about Saturday. I'll leave the house. Can you be here by 12p?"
Originally Posted By: findingself
Also Val...yes it is partially about me and H, he wants to spend the night in the house with S, and I need a break for S, can't it be for two people to benefit, also S will be able to spend time with H too...good for all is what I see...
Good.. because understanding that YOU benefit from this as well will stop any anger from being projected on him by you.. if that makes sense.
So... "I agreed with your idea, I will be staying at my mother's Saturday night."
Originally Posted By: findingself
Also Val...he is relocating 3 hours away to another state...it will have to be discussed in more detail in the future for sure...also a long ride for S...plus H will have to come up then go back so we will have to cross that road when we get there...
Yes - a bridge that you may have to cross at a later time.....
... just keep remembering that the pain that he causes YOU is completely separated from the relationship he has with his S.
Originally Posted By: findingself
Thanks for the feedback...
Anytime.
Keep working at it. This was a good step!
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
