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[needgrace]

I love how each of you, KG, Busting, Inside and 2TP, have shared with me parts of how you cope with life as a LBS. You each have made me stronger and continue to give me more and more tools, thank you.

Read this today:‎

"Forgiveness

is a heartache and difficult to achieve because strangely, the act of forgiveness not only refuses to eliminate the original wound, but actually draws us closer to its source. To approach forgiveness is to close in on the nature of the hurt itself, the only remedy being, as we approach its raw center, to re-imagine our relation to it.

It may be that the part of us that was struck and hurt can never forgive, and that forgiveness itself never arises from the part of us that was actually wounded. The wounded self may be the part of us incapable of forgetting, and perhaps, not meant to forget…

Stranger still, it is that wounded, branded, un-forgetting part of us that eventually makes forgiveness an act of compassion rather than one of simple forgetting…

…at the end of life, the wish to be forgiven is ultimately the chief desire of almost every human being. In refusing to wait; in extending forgiveness to others now, we begin the long journey of becoming the person who will be large enough, able enough and generous enough to receive, at our very end, that necessary absolution ourselves."

- David Whyte

Forgiveness is something I am struggling with as I move through the D and I agree that each time I approach it closer, I also approach closer the wound. I like how he talks about it being an act of compassion... that resonates for me and gives me more of a concrete goal, i guess... to consistently see my X through compassionate eyes... what is strange is that was one of our wedding vows... to always see each other with kind eyes.

previously in my journey, i have tried to cover over the wound and see her with kind eyes which left me vulnerable to being hurt again... i think it makes more sense to see her from the place of the wound with kind eyes so that i continue to protect myself and not deny the present reality.