LMAO 2TP... that was the funniest post ever! and if you ever need some lessons, I'm here
Thank you Val, Inside, KG, Busting, Cadet and SS for all the LOVE! You all are the best, seriously. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
SS, I loved that video and think he danced a bit like me.
KG, I have been so busy with work during the week, most nights till after 8PM, which is both good and bad.
someone said the other day on the board that we have everything we need (was that you busting?) and i keep reminding myself of that, and i am totally feeling it
i have been following the posts on forgiveness and think i feel like you, KG, when i have no contact I feel no anger, but when I do... I have a tough time controlling my emotions. I read somewhere that forgiveness can occur without having an R with the person.
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
Yes, lately there have been some great conversations here about important topics - respect, forgiveness...
I don't think I'll ever stop learning and growing here. Tallula said somewhere that this place is amazing. I agree - I feel very fortunate to have met such amazing people like you!
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
Hi KG, thanks! I am so happy to have found you on this road. you and the other dbers are helping me to craft a better me and enjoy my life more fully. i was chatting with zig yesterday and we realized that we are both in very stressful, busy times in our work lives but have found a new "way to be" in the midst of the stress, a new way to be calm and to embrace each moment. what a blessing. what an amazing blessing.
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
I agree NG about finding 'new ways to be" in other aspects of our lives. It is an amazing blessing :-)
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
I agree NG about finding 'new ways to be" in other aspects of our lives. It is an amazing blessing :-)
Yes! Such a blessing! Another thing to be grateful about - thank you for reminding me.
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
One promise I made to myself back when this all started was to find at least one positive in all the events that happened in my life, all the encounters, all the daily drudgery so to speak. When it didn't pop out at me, I looked harder. Sounds cheesy, but I always found something positive and when that shift happened, I found my " new way to be". Been away for a few weeks in terms of the positive, but am making my way back.
I love how each of you, KG, Busting, Inside and 2TP, have shared with me parts of how you cope with life as a LBS. You each have made me stronger and continue to give me more and more tools, thank you.
Read this today:‎
"Forgiveness
is a heartache and difficult to achieve because strangely, the act of forgiveness not only refuses to eliminate the original wound, but actually draws us closer to its source. To approach forgiveness is to close in on the nature of the hurt itself, the only remedy being, as we approach its raw center, to re-imagine our relation to it.
It may be that the part of us that was struck and hurt can never forgive, and that forgiveness itself never arises from the part of us that was actually wounded. The wounded self may be the part of us incapable of forgetting, and perhaps, not meant to forget…
Stranger still, it is that wounded, branded, un-forgetting part of us that eventually makes forgiveness an act of compassion rather than one of simple forgetting…
…at the end of life, the wish to be forgiven is ultimately the chief desire of almost every human being. In refusing to wait; in extending forgiveness to others now, we begin the long journey of becoming the person who will be large enough, able enough and generous enough to receive, at our very end, that necessary absolution ourselves."
- David Whyte
Forgiveness is something I am struggling with as I move through the D and I agree that each time I approach it closer, I also approach closer the wound. I like how he talks about it being an act of compassion... that resonates for me and gives me more of a concrete goal, i guess... to consistently see my X through compassionate eyes... what is strange is that was one of our wedding vows... to always see each other with kind eyes.
previously in my journey, i have tried to cover over the wound and see her with kind eyes which left me vulnerable to being hurt again... i think it makes more sense to see her from the place of the wound with kind eyes so that i continue to protect myself and not deny the present reality.
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
