Of Feral Cats, and All That

[TSquared2]

Thank you!

FY--Thank you...I made the mistake of playing that video while at work...can't be tearing up there...lol! And when W isn't all conflicted, which is starting to happen a bit more, the aging fades...it really is the "light from within" that determines a lot I think...if dark light, or light light, makes a difference.

Snodderly--I am ramping up my workouts, that helped before. I am grateful she is sharing so much on all subjects. More movement is occurring, I will touch on that below.

Raine--"Now try and remember how you said you'd handle it if this happened. " Thank you for holding my feet to the fire, and me to my word...lol. No matter how much or how we rehearse these things, you don't really know until your are there...and there is where your character comes in I think.

I shared how I was feeling and thinking in my posts above, some of it I am not too proud of, to be more honest with myself, and practice being okay with sharing my feelings, and I think all this practice here is helping in the sitch. I am a lot more comfortable with my feelings and being vulnerable. I have had a couple/few triggers, handled all but one really well, and the one I handled less than I would have liked wasn't too terrible, just not quite as graceful as I would have preferred...I hate it when I re-act a nano-second before my brain kicks in...but other than that I am doing well a wek or so into it, the thoughts don't come so readily, and I have learned that when I am tired, stressed, etc, to really watch myself, it's easier for them to sneak past command central.

W continues to work on herself...some things like:

--"just been thinking how I kept the cheating going in the fall because of the depression but I didn't realize this at the time....and now that the depression feels severe...things are happening naturally to stop those relationships but that is making the depression worse..."

--"is it normal to feel bored with your spouse, and want the excitement of a new relationship?"

--"I am worried that I might have made things more difficult for myself in the future with comparing you to him...I don't need more issues and work"

--"I'm scared and so tired of this...so lonely"

But, on the "good" side:

--"trying to remind myself to take it minute by minute right now..."

--"the good thing is that late last night when you saw me I was finally feeling good... at peace kind of... hard to explain.. but it was so nice..and I was thinking it was the herbs..." (to this I replied that "maybe it was also something that came from within YOU" in a really nice, not know it all, way).

She has been sharing things like the above, and other little status things like how she felt deleting some old emails, how she feels about her "contacts" dropping away...so I do see, and affirm, her efforts, and her openness, but without pressing or pressuring. Another new thing is that she is checking out some support groups at one of the hospital complexes for some of her issues, especially depression. I am gathering she has pinpointed the underlying constant, and fear motivator, through this via her own research...depression...and what does Cadet say in his welcome emails??

We have added in some menopause herbs, and the wellbutrin should be showing its effects anytime now, if it's not already. And its spring!

So I am watching the actions and keeping busy, but being available when she comes around. Keeping the road paved as smooth as possible.


T^2