Thank you azguy. I'd actually really like to know what flipped in your head to make you realize you wanted your M? I'll have to review your story again, but I remember you saying you were done first. And you're absolutely right, he thinks it's too late, he's told me "too much water under the bridge". Today I am choosing to focus on the vulnerability. And I'm ignoring the rest.
Just finished 5 Love Languages book. I mentioned I skimmed it earlier, my H started reading it & I really doubt he got too far into it either. I mean, how could anyone in a desperate marriage read this and not want to try the lessons?
But either way - the resounding message is that Love is a choice! It does put some perspective into 'wooing' your spouse back or not, ultimately they have to decide if they're going to love you or not. I know, I'm a late learner here and everyone already has that revalation. But I've read tons of threads here and I especially am questioning every text, every converstaion, all with a lot of uncertainty about what I can do to move the sitch one way or another. I can play my hand very well but it will ultimately come down to his decision. And I've felt a lack of decision, or a choice not to love for a looonnngg time.
Maybe I'm finally feeling ready to move on. I'm sticking it out for now, but know I'll be okay either way.
After the email listed above from H which sounded out of character for him, a lot more angry that he usually acts, he sent another email yesterday about wanting to join us for D17 bday day trip to another city I'd planned. Kind of weird, it's about 2 hours away and he wants to take the train down there then have D17 ride back on train with him. I just said sure, that'd be great. Whatever, he must think I'll bite him in a 2 hr car ride. Or he's probably just wanting to avoid the awkwardness. Oh well. Not letting effect me anymore.
H also emailed this am that he was thinking of cutting back from his off-shift job, he said 'too much drama'. Which is also really weird because he just sent the email about how he feels he has to work so much... I just replied & tried to be supportive, told him probably good idea to keep a low profile. Everything I want to say on the subject sounds guilt or pressure inducing.
25? I'd love you to pick apart H's email and let me know if there's anything left to be learned there. 2x4s welcome.
