Fixable things become unfixable if both won't follow advice.....and yes to blame....mostly W not following advice on how to handle it and build trust.
Are you owning up to your own faults here? Doesn't sound like.
It was similar for me after my W's first EA. I was always insecure, but now I justified my behavior to myself instead of changing it. I became more controlling, more suspicious. It drove my W further and further away. Sound familiar?
True, she didn't go out of her way to build trust, but I didn't do my part either. We never sat down and discussed it...not why it happened, nor how to rebuild our trust in each other. Yes, she had to learn to trust me too...trust that I wouldn't assume the worst, that I would listen to her without judgement, that I would love her without conditions.
