On Friday I bought a picnic and firewood on my way home so that we could all go to the beach for a bonfire. The W wasn’t home yet, so I texted her to come home because we were going out. At the beach we had a nice evening. Our girls roasted marshmallows on the fire and made smores while the adults ate and drank (her MIL came too). I still notice the pursuer/distance relationship between us going on. I avoid pursuit, such as when she walked to the water’s edge by herself , in the past, I probably would have gone over to her.
On Saturday we went our separate way in the morning, met at a store to look at kitchen appliances, and then went with girls to meet a friend for lunch. From lunch we went to the beach again because D6 had a birthday party there to attend. The rest of us hung around on the beach. Later our friend invited us to a clubhouse that he is a member of to go swimming. My girls love swimming, I went as well as my wife. There was also a Jacuzzi and sauna. All in all, a nice day together.
One thing I notice is that my wife is much more flirtatious with other men, any men, than she has ever been in the past. For example, this friend of ours has 2 daughters of his own, he is not her type at all, but she gives him so much attention and is always smiling. I notice this same behavior when she interacts with other men too.
While my wife and girls were in the changing room, my friend told me that our relationship seemed to be good. He knows of the BD. To any outside observer, yes it looks good. There is no hostility between us, we talk together, and we even touch each other in public the way a husband and wife in love would. I think DB-ing has turned my situation around such that she doesn’t want to run and flee, but she still doesn’t want to be with me. Or at least she has no commitment to the marriage.
