I like what 2 said about detachment not being kind or unkind. It's hard to detach lovingly and I know I have to think twice, three times or more before I respond in my efforts to reflect loving detachment. It has helped by not initiating any contact with H except with regards to the kids...but even this can be hard because it needs to be for the right reasons. Without expectations. For the kids and their R with H. I think that maybe friendliness or even may be friendship could develop from that.
