Served

[movingon-1968]

I'am not in denial about W wanting a D. I hear her and I acknowledge her feelings.

Do you?

I told her the reason she still feels the same is because she has not done any work to try to change those feelings.

This is why I asked the above. You're telling her why she feels the way she does - that's trying to control her and you might as well beat your head against a rock!!

While I study books on Saving a M, she reads books on how to get a D and move on!

That's her choice. You can't tell her what's she's doing wrong in YOUR EYES. It's her decision - end of story.

I just want my C to listen to W and talk to her. He is an incredible C and I trust him.

Want in one hand, crap in the other and see which one fills up faster... It's doubtful your W would ever trust him since you don't listen or validate WHAT SHE FEELS!! That's obvious from what I quoted above. You can't tell her what or why she feels - you've completely missed this point apparently.

I have more work to do on myself, mostly getting the ability to not react to W when she tells me things that rip my heart out. My C said I have made good progress thus far and it is sad that my W can't see that.

Of course since you're obviously NOT getting some of what shes saying!

This conversation was a major backslide for you. You know she wants a D, but, you continue to to try to tell her the why's, where's etc... of how she feels.