2, you and I have commiserated in the past about our perfectionism and control issues.
From my perspective, I'm so much happier since I've figured out that piece and let go of a lot of it because for the most part, it just makes my life more difficult and has a ripple affect.
There are times when those traits are useful but we have to figure that out and be able to use our "talents" judiciously.
After all this time why does this My W still waits till the last minute to do things that can and should be done ahead of time. And it still makes me crazy.[/b[ still make you crazy?
Can you adjust in some way so it doesn't make you crazy? My H and I had many uncomfortable (resentment building) moments in our marriage because he wasn't ready when I wanted to walk out the door. I wanted to be places early because the anxiety when I was late (or even just on time) was so uncomfortable I would go into b!tch-mode.
Do you know how many of those moments I wish I had back? What a waste of time.
And I've found that the world doesn't end if you show up on time. It doesn't end if you're late either. Life goes on.
If you were ever going to have a life with W, one of you would need to change on this, ideally there could be a compromise but right now you're the one who's DBing. What's the 180 here?
[b]W got really snotty at one point and I just sighed which prompted her to make another snotty remark Do you wish you had done this better? You both fell into your pattern of communicating. That "I just sighed" was packed with meaning. How about if you had said "W, I feel frustrated when you yadda yadda. The next time could we yadda yadda?"
Ad recommended the book Family Communications and I'm really getting a lot out of it. We can learn from our mistakes and show our kids a better way to communicate.
That was one of my early goals, that I could learn to be better so my kids could be better. I might not save my M but there are other just as important reasons to DB.
2, I know that's a bit of a 2x4 but I know you can take it and that you don't want friends just whispering sweet nothings in your ear.
((()))
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
