Feeling down tonight. One of the thoughts I had when interacting with XW today, was that she is showing signs of questioning what she is doing regarding her career. Ever since I've known her, she's shown qualms about whether she has the skills to work in the field she's in, and whether she really wants to continue. On the one hand, I felt some relief that there was no expectation on my part to comfort her or reassure her. I simply listened to her concerns about her job's difficulty, and talked to her like any other friend.
This is mind reading, but she seems to be unhappy and looking for something in her life that she couldn't get in our M. I get the feeling the discontent and restlessness has not disappeared. But when I think about this, I feel more anger than empathy for her. I don't really understand how our M became this cage for her, as it apparently did. I'm not trying to evade blame, but the whole way it fell apart just confuses me. Some part of me wishes she were looking happier, so at least I could think the D helped her. It sure didn't improve things for me.
Watching our S go back and forth between house and apartment each week is painful. He's had trouble getting to sleep the past week or two. He tries so hard to be organized so that he can live in two places each week. I worry what this will do to him as he grows up.
Just moping tonight.
H: 38 xW: 38 M: 16 T: 18 S: 9 BD: 2/2012 W moved out 4/2012 D: 11/2012
