This has been a wierd past few days. W and I have been getting along extremely well. She has been more talkative with more eye contact since BD. She sat in the same room with me to watch TV ( this doesn't happen). So what's the problem?
First, it makes it extremely hard to detach when she is acting like this. It is easier to detach when I am not around her so much. She has gone out of her way to talk to me this weekend.
Grizz, maybe re-read what detaching is. To me that is not letting your W's actions impact you. If she is joining you for conversation or tv watching or eating you should engage that. The eye contact is good. Just have relaxed conversations with no expections of a breakthrough. No R talk unless she brings it up. Take advantage of these moments to rebuild with your W. This should be rebuilding trust with her. Remember, many small steps (like these) in the right direction is much better than a giant leap forward (only to fall back).
Originally Posted By: Grizz
Now the worst part....Mind reading. I walked downstairs and W was on the computer. As I turned the corner she couldn't get her screen/browser closed fast enough. Me being stupid and thinking that things may be a little better with her change in attitude has now gotten to me. Now I don't think things are any different at all.
Mind reading Expectations Not detaching
ALL BAD!
Yes, mind reading, expectations, and not detaching. For all you know what she was doing on the computer may well have had nothing to do with you. Or maybe she was posting something positive about you. Who knows. It doesn't matter. You can't analyze the heck out of these things. When you see her at the computer give her space and let her type away and do what she is going to do and don't let it impact you. To me, that is detaching.
Grizz, are you a big reader? Why don't you get an inspirational book about someone surviving against all odds (that has nothing to do with marriage). I have a suggestion - "Unbroken" by Laura Hillenbrand. Truly an amazing story that will get your mind on other things. Ok, I lied, there is a little bit on marriage crisis of the main character at the end of the book but it is a small part of the book.
