JB, I do avoid X. New Guy deserves the best! There are ties when I can't avoid X, like at events for D, but generally I do not need to deal with him, which is fine by me.
I will generally feel sorry for X--various medical traumas I wouldn't wish on anyone. but I think it's important to learn that feeling sorry for someone doesn't mean you love that person. Or that you have to help or intervene.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D