Have you told OWH no more contact and blocked his number? You don't need to be in the middle of some crazy adolescent pissing match-you're pregnant and have a baby on the way.
You know some people only feel normal when there's drama involved. Back away and have as little contact as you can with H.
Boundaries are your friend.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Labug- yes. He was Facebook messaging me. I had told him to stop, so after last night I blocked him from being able to contact me.
Yeah, clearly this guy does. Well, and my H and OW, I don't want either of these people in my life nor my kids. And the way H is acting? Why does he even have this guys number? It's just ridiculous.
Now I Just need to decide if I tell H. Maybe I don't, and if he finds out just say I blocked the guy & didn't Think it was needed to say anything.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Can you tell him as an FYI only? Just to inform him, it may extend trust but don't ask for his opinion or help in dealing with it. Sounds like blocking owh was the best way to remove yourself from the sitch. But your H will most likely find out because owh will just find a more direct way to lash out. Just tell him this is what's been going on just so you hear it from me. Hope you have a better day and can take care of yourself and baby.
The only reason I would tell him is so he heard it from me.
But, I just need to remove myself from the crazy and let the chips fall where they do. I'm not going to tell him & I need to pull waaay back from my H.
While I do believe that this doesn't need to be advertised, I'm pretending we are a happy family to most of the outside world. I'm not going to do that anymore. I lied to my neighbors & said H has been working out of town. I will not announce it to them, but I think I may tell one of them. I don't know.
I will still conduct myself with kindness, but I need to protect myself. No more family time for awhile.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
I went to a friends house and feel a bit recharged. While I was there H called several times, then texted if I was ok & safe. I eventually resoinded just hsnging with a friend, kids ok? Then he texted other stuff about answering my phone and i just didntvtespind. She pointed out that hecwas nsnipulating me & i dont need tespond to him. I am mind reading, but i feel like he knows sinething...buy i dont care anymore. My friend is in ala-non & has known us both a really long time. She actually goes to the meeting they met in. She said shes seen a change in him.
I've been dark to H pretty much, but we did family things together. I'm don't doing that for awhile. Clearly I can keep my boundaries only so long, and he is going to keep trying to cake eat.
I need to continue to take care of myself, but really let H deal with the consequences of his choices. I'm not an R option right now. I know it, but I let myself think about it a bit. I knew he shouldn't have spent the night, so I will take this as a lesson, move on and keep my head held high. I've blocked OWH & if he tells anyone we messaged, so be it. Not my deal. I'm debating deactivating my account altogether, but I'll sleep on that a bit.
Thanks everyone for being there for my latest meltdown.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Now I Just need to decide if I tell H. Maybe I don't, and if he finds out just say I blocked the guy & didn't Think it was needed to say anything.
I think this is appropriate and honest.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
Have you told OWH no more contact and blocked his number? You don't need to be in the middle of some crazy adolescent pissing match-you're pregnant and have a baby on the way.
You know some people only feel normal when there's drama involved. Back away and have as little contact as you can with H.
Boundaries are your friend.
Bug did a much better job of being direct than I did. T, I hope you really get what we are saying, treat yourself with respect. Honor yourself and your baby. They can figure their own dysfunctional crap out any screwed up way they want to, just leave you off the crazy train. Take the time to heal you deserve it.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
