I think it is all part of the depression and grief that comes at the end of a long marriage. I know you have been living separate while together lives, and I always thought that showed a special strength that I certainly do not have. So this is hard for you. He is in crisis, and will not feel things like you do. That may well come later for him.
I know when depression and loneliness strikes it is no consolation to count your blessings of a roof over your head and the chance to get an education and children that love you, but at times like this we often have to cling onto the good and let the rest go. It does get better, and I am here to say so, having had my own very very dark days.
We are not as detached as we think during the divorce, and it is not until we haven't seen or spoken to them in a long time that (for most of us) the detachment starts to occur. No expectations, of someone that can barely hold it together for himself
