Congrats on getting your license and I think it is great that you apologized to your first wife and the response that you got from her.
If Kaffe Diem sees this he will be proud that you took his advice.
How does it make you feel?
It (apologizing to X1) felt good, it was healing. I was surprised that I got a reply at all, never mind such a nice reply. I can tell she has "grown" in our time apart. Asking me to let her know how I am doing from time to time also was not what I expected. Being remarried and having a young daughter - she seems happy from the response.
Another big thing I'll be doing shortly will be contacting X2's X1 (my second wife's first ex). HE went through a lot of pain on the reconnection of his wife with her high-school sweetheart. Not sure if I mentioned this but shortly after my divorce he noted that at some point he'd like to have a talk. The subject matter was obvious and I let him know when I was ready I'd offer him the opportunity. After I get my SUV next weekend I'm going to send him a quick text and let him know if he still has an interest in the chat then I am available.
My plan is this - if he still has a need to talk I am completely open to that and will offer my time. I plan to allow him to say his peace. I know it will go fine, we have had enough contact over the past years that I know no one will get rude. My question is this: Other than giving him the time to say whatever it is he wants to I don't plan to do the same in return. I honestly don't have a need to share anything with him. If he has any direct questions of me, no matter how personal, I will respond honestly. Of course, if any of the questions have to do with the who/what/where/why/how's of my ex then I will let him know that's a question to ask her, not me. But, back to my original question. Once he shares all he needs to, and I respond to any direct questions he may have, I don't plan to add anything extra. I don't plan to share my feelings or to state my case, to seek redemption, etc.
I'm not taking this position because of anything negative or that I feel bad or anything like that. I just simply don't have the need to do that with him. He seemed to need to share what was in him and I simply plan to allow him to do that.
