While this started off as a thank you thread, there's a ton of great, thought-provoking material in here. Thanks to all for their contributions.
On the forgiveness/acceptance thing by Janice Abrahms, I'm not sure I buy that. The 10 steps certainly seem the same as forgiveness to me, she just calls it something different at the end. It's almost like tricking yourself to hold on to a little resentment....I accept your choices, but I don't forgive you for them. Doesn't seem healthy to me.
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
I needed an apology NOT For forgiveness but for reconciliation b/c I needed to trust him,- that he really was choosing us and wanted to and wasn't going to disappear again.
But yes it makes it easier to forgive too...but not mandatory if you are not reconciling.
^^^This is more how I think about it. I can forgive without apology, but to reconcile, I think that other person has to take responsibility for their actions to demonstrate that they understand what happened, why, and to say "I won't do it again."
Great discussion on "the process"...it's so difficult to get that initially. I think it's just not the WAS who is generally in a "fog"...it's the LBS as well. Different reasons sure, but I think we're all lost initially.
