Much of what you wrote resonates. That is one of the reasons why the passage of time is important. We finally detach, and if they come barrelling slowly back into our lives it doesn't upset all the changes we have made.
I saw urworthy's post, I agree that when the alien goes away it is good - we can relate to them without being on our guard. When the alien is there we are on high alert, and any interaction is fraught. When the alien goes away you will know.
